As a separated or divorced parent, it is gut-wrenching to watch your kid leave you when it comes to visiting your ex-spouse. It can be especially torturous if your child displays behavior that tells you that he or she is unhappy to leave you. However, in this article, we explore the many reasons your child could behave in this manner, and why you shouldn’t jump to conclusions about it. While your kid’s safety and welfare is certainly the top priority, it is also very critical that you don’t take actions out of emotion, as this can be asking for a lot of trouble in the courtroom.
Your child Isn’t Necessarily In Danger.
Don’t assume that your child is upset while visiting your spouse because they’re in danger there. What is important to grasp is that children, especially those of a very young age, have few tools of expression. They cannot explain their feeling well. Consider the age and the development of your child. They may be crying because they are angry, sad, hungry, or uncertain.
If you don’t like your ex, it can be easy to think that your kid is acting up because they don’t like them, too. But what usually happens is that both parents wind up saying the child is upset when they have to leave to visit the other, so you can see where this is going.
Kids Mimic Their Parents
It is not unusual for kids to pick up on every clue bout how you feel about your ex or the situation of the visitation, separation, or divorce. Children are highly observant creatures, and even if you don’t openly badmouth the other, your child will pick up o the faintest tones in your voice if you express something about them with any unhappiness. Speak to children carefully, considering the emotional impact of everything you say. For example, saying things like “I hate being away from you” or “I’ll be sad all week until I see you again” is going to stir up upset in your kid.
Children Try to Validate Your Importance
As a parent, your child will sometimes fake their sadness to help you feel better. If they know that you are upset, conflicted, or sad, they will pick up on it and eventually realize that it leaves you unhappy whenever they leave to be with their other parent. They then act on this by mirroring your sadness and do so in thinking that it will somehow make you feel better. Sharing your emotions, or mirroring them, is a thing kids do. You have to be the adult and spot it out!
Children Are Challenged by Change
Even if your child is genuinely happy when they visit you or your ex-spouse, it triggers anxiety in them. And that’s because they’re leaving behind a parent, and this change makes them anxious. And that’s because of the change it brings. Kids don’t like change. It is as simple as that.
Leaving any situation for another is bound to make them anxious. So don’t convince yourself that their mistreatment elsewhere is causing them to be unhappy while leaving you. That’s probably because they are unhappy. And it is natural to feel so when they leave their other parent to visit you or vice versa.
Should there be a real reason or reasons for concern over your child’s visitation with your ex? The correct way to go about it is to address your concerns by working with an attorney. You should file a petition for the modification of your child custody order. And you should get an attorney to make this petition to ensure that you do not tramp any toes.
Of course, before going to this extent, you have first to establish whether you have reasons to do so. Scrutinize your situation before doing anything drastic! Sometimes, you could even employ the help of a professional to help you determine your child’s unhappiness and its causes. Because it might bring your peace of mind and make your child happy.
Hire a child psychologist, counselor, or a child custody lawyer to help. You could also discuss with the other parent on dealing with the issue and hiring a professional. This way, you will have a neutral opinion of things and a better understanding of your child’s issues.